I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
