so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
Randomize
