So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
