Why do my orgasm prompt her to begin using babytalk EVERYTIME?!
it was like eating out sand paper
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
being pregnant is like rehab
Rumble strips road head = magical
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
