I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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