And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
Randomize
