But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
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