Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
Sometimes I seriously wonder if I could get away with vodka Sundays at work. Cuz this red bull feels naked.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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