oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
