Me too!
my sisters under your porch take her home
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Randomize
