I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Randomize
