she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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