physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
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