Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Randomize
