i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
