its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Randomize
