i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
I'd say I should re evaluate my life choices, but I'd make the same decisions only faster and wearing a push up bra.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
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