Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
How do I tell my hairdresser I want a hair style I saw in a porn video?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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