are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Also I stopped in the middle of the road and put my hazards on because BUNNIES WERE PLAYING
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
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