I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bobbing for jello shots in a bucket of long island. Fast track to alcohol poisoning.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
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