If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Just found a pair of vomit-soaked socks in my purse, three days after the party... Now I know why my wallet was wet.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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