And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
I think I won an award for shitting and vomiting at the same time.
Randomize
