I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Is it bad form to puke out of a dorm window to avoid looking bad in front of the people in your room?
How about from a sixth floor window?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
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