We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
Nope. He totaled my car then moved back to Louisiana to work things out with baby mama. I sure know how to pick em
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
My fridge is empty and all of my food is in the bathtub. Just.. Why?
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Uhhh...I just found your 10 dollar bill in my bra. I owe you 10 dollars.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Randomize
