two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
As if I didn't already know that I was in the friend zone, our conversation that included the words "kiddo" and "old friend" really was a knee biter.
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
