once we finished he held up the condom and asked if i wanted to keep it as a souvenir.
oh and he was serious.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
I'm too hungover to crawl to the fridge so im eating the candy nipple tassels I got bought for Christmas
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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