whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Randomize
