Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
Just an FYI i'm going to get drunk as shit while you are on duty and attempt to not fall into the bathtub again.
Rodger that.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
