She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm both gender and math confused
Randomize
