Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
The one time I decide to bring people over you are laying naked on the coffee table watching the ceiling fan cause "it just moves so fast" I'm guessing you got paid today??
To potentially get me laid, I need you to send me your favorite memes.
Randomize
