wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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