If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
You. Dating a sex offender cop. Life writes itself sometimes.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Randomize
