just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
You need Xanax blowdarts
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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