dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Just cropdusted the office
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
