Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
Randomize