The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
No...this little piggys going to the bar
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
