When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
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i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Excuse me while I gouge out my eyes.
In which case my work here is done.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
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