You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
Randomize