Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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