Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
I was just making a list of the girls i have slept with and i can't remember your sisters name
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
Randomize
