now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
the new term for farting is butt boxing.
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Boobs are out for the taking
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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