You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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