Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
my shower just felt like jesus cried on me. like he shed tears just for my shower.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
STOP GETTING GIRLS PREGNANT IN MY BED.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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