They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Did you get my bra back of the bartender?
I seriously think we need to revision your idea of 'keeping a low profile'
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
