I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
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