Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
then he tried to convert me to islam
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Randomize
