I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
is that a dick in a sweater?
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
