You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
Do not try to steal a picnic table from a park, all you will end up with are sore arms and broken dreams.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
