the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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