Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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