Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
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They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
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but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
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