I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
Randomize
