can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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