i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
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