yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I plan on having so much gay sex in our house while you gone.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
Randomize
