Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Did we literally take a cab across the street
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
I convinced a German girl that I was born while my mom was water skiing and I preceded to barefoot ski behind her via the umbilical cord...
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
Randomize
