You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
Dude so coolest charity idea ever, think aids walk but instead of miles you drink beers oh the possibilities
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
I drank it. I drank the beer from '78. I drank my bday beer, I drank my soul
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
My fuck it list is complete! I finally got a firefighter!
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