She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize