Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize