ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Dude, a dry wedding reception should nullify the vows, because really, without the booze, you might as well be 5 years old again and playing dress-up
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
Randomize
